God, Life and Justice: A Personal Decision

There are events in one’s life, the intensity and impact of which bring about the deepest questionings. In mine, such events led me not only to question the meaning of life (which I had always taken to be on the good, or at least tolerable side), but the worthiness of life itself.

Being a Catholic Christian, that meant I had questioned whether God was in fact in control over the balance of good and evil, at least in this planet where I lived. These thoughts can go on and on, until they reduce to the paramount issue of whether to continue living decently, or giving in to an ideology akin to Darwinian survival of the fittest, or Hobbes’ war of all against all.

I resolved these issues, at least for now (to be honest), by faith (surprise!). I took it on faith that “life is unfolding as it should”, and that I should humbly and patiently wait upon the Lord’s judgment. This wasn’t easy, as we all observe injustice perpetrated repeatedly. But it is true indeed (and by that I mean it can also be observed) that the sun shines on the just and the unjust; both the deserving and to our eyes, the undeserving. I came to the conclusion, that if God did not seem (to my empirical eyes) just, He was at least merciful.
And so, not yet despaired enough to take my own life, what choice is there for me, but to go forward, trusting and hoping in God’s mercy? Indeed, the Koran says that God’s mercy exceeds his wrath. And for that He is called the Merciful, the Beneficent.

Of course, I do not forget, how the Almighty answered Job. In the infinity of His Being, I can infer the limitless wisdom that informs His disposition, and that controlling all the variables, He does best. May I remember that, until my last day on this planet.

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